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User blog:KingOfKretaceous/Kaiju Reviews: Episode 5
=This review is now outdated.= =DISCLAIMER: If this is your kaiju, and you get offended by me saying bad stuff about it, I'm sorry. Just go on my message wall and scream at me, although I'll probably ignore you, because I most likely have better things to do.= =SECOND DISCLAIMER: This series heavily relies on my own likes and dislikes, so if you disagree with me, that's perfectly fine, because I might be a little biased while reviewing some kaiju.= Hi. I'm sick, and I've got nothing else to do, so I thought I might as well make another quick Kaiju Reviews on Tsuagon. I swear to god I'll go back to the random page method next time. Tsuagon First Impression "Tsuagon is a Giant Dinosaur that first appeared in Tsuagon The Subterranean Terror." Gets across what it must, blah blah. However, this is a rare case where even though it does what it needs to, I still disapprove of it a little. The fact that it's a giant dinosaur makes it a little cliche to me. Oh well. Hopefully the creator will have spiced the rest of the page up! Nope. Appearance Before we start, I need to say it. Tsuagon is Yongary. I've said this countless times before, but he just looks too similar to Yongary not to ignore it. In fact, the name of the image's file is literally "Yongary.. is that you". If that doesn't show you how bland and uninteresting this kaiju is, I don't know what will. Well, maybe the next parts of this page will. But I'll just quote the page on Yongary's appearance real quick. The picutre only shows Yongary's face, so I'm just gonna trust what the page is saying. "Tsuagon has light tan skin, a coffee brown underside, a yellow horn, white teeth, white eyes, gray finger and toe nails, and a pincher at the end of his tail." Personality Well, I can say this is a first. Anyways, what've we got here? "Tsuagon's personality type is unknown, but it is known that he does not like to fight other kaiju, but only if he has to." There's a lot of problems with this sentence, but my biggest is with the conflicting and frankly awfully written last 1/3 of the sentence. It conflicts quite a bit with the part that comes right before it. It really just is written too poorly to properly connect with the information preceding it. I would break them up into two sentences, with the new paragraph reading, "Tsuagon's personality type is unknown, but it is known that he does not like to fight other kaiju. However, he will fight other kaiju if needed." Except I probably wouldn't write a kaiju like this with complete seriousness. Well, let's just head on to the abilities section. It can't be worse, right? Abilities Tsuagon has a pretty mediocre skillset. Also, when I say mediocre, I mean I personally don't think it's all that unique. Anywho, he can fire a beam of blue, fire-like energy that slices through materials it contacts, including tough hide like Godzilla's. I feel like that referenced Godzilla twice in one sentence, as the beam felt like a bootleg of Godzilla's Atomic Breath. He can also grab kaiju with his tail and inject poison in them while swinging them around. It feels a bit like a combo of Destoroyah and venom (poison is ingested while venom is injected so -200 on your next test), but I haven't seen a combination like that. Kind of. Actually, I think Hybrehemoth does that a little, being able to pick up his opponents, fly around and poison them but whatever. Probably a coincidence. What else can Tsuagon do? Hmm. He has a NEO form, but can only enter it if he has the energy? It has wings, too?? I'm getting some Undertale vibes here, and I don't like it one bit... Power of NEO plays in background Anyways, it's not great, but not complete trash. Anyways, let's hope the history section is mostly the same. History Tsuagon was the result of a failed experiment by Dr. Serizawa, with his code name being TSU. We're 1 sentence in and this kind of sounds like a phoned-in way to explain his name, and slightly like a shitty fanfiction. He got some DNA from Baragon, Gyaos (unknowingly) and cacti to give him spikes. It's not like Tsu + Baragon = Tsuagon or anything. Nope. Not at all, not in the slightest. Also, if you added cacti to give the kaiju "wow super cool spikes", you would most likely not see the spikes given in the picture, and see much sharper, more thorn-like spines. The end result would also most likely give numerous side effects to the kaiju. But, let's say that the nearly impossible end result is what came out, because I could sit here forever talking about all the side effects. So the end result was supposed to be something that could kill Godzilla, but the end result was Tsuagon, because Serizawa didn't know what he spliced. I'd find out what cells I was dealing with before mixing them and hoping for the best, if I was Serizawa. The actual character probably would too, to be honest. Anyways, Tsuagon ends up 1v1ing Godzilla on his Minecraft server and gets defeated, but lays an egg before passing on, which hatches into another Tsuagon that defends humanity. That history was honestly pretty flawed at the beginning, but not as awful in the last part. The last part is a minority in the paragraph, though, which makes this history section pretty not good. On to the trivia because it's got some facts I wanna make fun of in there. Trivia First off, we have this little bit of information. "Tsuagon's name is made of up of the words Tsu and agon. Tsu means "Bay" (from the word Tsunami) and agon is from the word Dragon." I thought agon was from Baragon, seeing that inspiration was taken there (and his DNA was spliced into Tsuagon too), but okay I guess. I mean, Tsuagon really doesn't have association with water in any way, but whatever. "Tsuagon had multiple designs up until the Yongary design was choosen, the official name of Tsuagon's design is called ShodaiTsua." Oh my god EVEN THE CREATOR KNOWS. I think a good sign of when your creation has a failed design is when you know it's a bootleg yourself. "Tsuagon was going to changed to "Ashuagon" but was scrapped due to the similar of creator's name." wow an even worse name. I'm kind of glad the end result was Tsuagon, because Ashuagon is a shit name for a shit kaiju. It would probably take some away from what this kaiju even has in my opinion. "Tsuagon was inspired by Baragon from Frankenstein v.s Baragon, with his horn, and his roar has a bit of Baragon in it." Are you sure the horn isn't from that one guy named Yongary? Anyways, there's no roar provided, so I'll just imagine it as Baragon's own for now. "And finally, the creator tried to replace Tsuagon, but was too happy with the result of his kaiju." Strange, considering I've literally been shitting on it saying how bad it is. Also, I would not be satisfied with a kaiju like this. I'd most likely revamp it given the chance, but whatever. You do you, I do me. Unless it's a bad kaiju. Then we're gonna have some issues. "Tsuagon has the design of "South Korea's Godzilla," Yongary. Except he has light tan skin and his abilities are different, he is NOTHING like Yongary in personality and abilities, but in design, they look the same." I already complained on how Tsuagon is a Yongary bootleg more than once, so I'm just gonna skip this part and get to the end. Conclusion I'll give this kaiju a 4/10. It's a fucking mess of a kaiju, sure, but it's not bad to the point that I want it to die in a conflagration. Also, it's not trying to be something it's not, besides a good kaiju, but most kaiju are trying to do that anyways. King Kaiju was trying to be funny (but it wasn't) and had some other issues involving the creator, and Indominus Ghidorah was just stupid to the point of being upsetting. BECAUSE SEEING SOMEONE FIGHT SOMEONE ELSE SURELY MEANS THEY'RE GONNA FIGHT YOU SOON, RIGHT?? Well, even though this review's done, I'm not out of shit yet. Next time, we're reviewing some shit kaiju - literally. Let's see if they can be the opposite of their squad name, or if the name is fitting for each of them. See ya in the next review. Category:Blog posts Category:KingOfKretaceous' Kaiju Reviews